Thursday, July 30, 2009

Family Reunion 2009


To see pictures of the family reunion, select the link to Picasa, in the upper right corner of this page.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Whetten Risk Challange

From Curtis:
About strategy relative to the Risk game. Let me assure all of you (all y’all) that if you make a deal with Clark, it’s bound to be dissolved before the end: Either he will beat you or you will beat him. Now on the other hand, if you really want to control the game, send me or Cedric an email and we will review with you the award-winning strategy that lead to the tremendous success evidenced at Capitol Reef. You too can be a winner without having to endure to the end of the game. Many of us are sensitive and repulsed by the dastardly deeds of Cortez, Pizzaro, Ghangis Kahn and other such tyrants who conquered their world. Thus it’s difficult to enjoy a game of Risk where we have to “conquer” our dear brothers and sisters.
But there is no longer any need for shame. FREEDOM AT LAST!
Through deep pondering and thoughtful consideration, a method has been developed wherein you too can enjoy a good game of Risk and yet remain totally FREE from any sense of remorse. For your own in-home* consultation with a money-back GURANTEE, write to cwhetten5@yahoo.com TODAY. Operators will be on hand for a limited time only. You must write NOW to take full advantage of this chance-of-a-lifetime opportunity.
*In-tent consultations for campers require the additional consideration of a snack for the presenter.
Best regards,
Curtis
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From Angie:
OK, I’m here in “La Gruta” with Cedric and I just read Curtis’ epistle or info-mercial on “How-to-Win-at-RISK-and-feel-Good-about-it”.
Well, Cedric just stated plainly that, “The reality is, that the road to winning at RISK is controlled by Curtis and me.”
WHATEVER!!!!
Angie
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From Curtis:
Yes, Angie:
The invitation is open to all: Join Cedric and I as we take the game of Risk to a new paradigm. Experience the thrill of success like never before. Openings are limited, so request your personal consultation now.
Best regards,
Curtis
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From Clark:
One small problem Curtis and Cedric. You are banned from playing. Because of past shenanigans you are banned. Once you submit your request to the “committee” and the “committee” approves your re-instatement you can play again. If you don’t believe me you can ask Conal, Chris, Bruce H., Bruce W., Craig and your previous victim, Angelina.

Sorry Charley

Clark (the chairman)
PS. The ban is just on Risk, on Settlers it doesn’t apply.
PPSS. I’m leaning toward letting you back in since a long time has past and there were mitigating circumstances like you are both out of the box thinkers, but still procedures are procedures, so state your case and we’ll take a vote.
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From Cedric:
Wwwwwwhaaaat? Now wait a second here. A few points to consider:
1)Angelina is a victim? May I remind the players that Angie won. What part of winning the whole RISK game makes her a victim?
2)We (the enlightened consortium of Curtis and Cedric) played by the same rules as everyone else. Same dice, same game pieces, same rules. And moreover we didn't even win the game (in the conventional way).
3)Banning: According to the RISK world Geneva Convention banning requires the vote of all player representatives. While a vote of no-confidence in the chairman only requires a 3/4 majority.
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From Chris:
All RISK hopefuls,
The framework for an international consortium, is being built. Who will join?
If you have ever felt THE frustration, join with me now!
If you have ever tried to hold Europe against the incesant onlaught of North America, Africa, and Asia, join with me now!
If you have ever tried to build up an army from Australia's meager 2 armies per turn then unite!
If someone has marched across your Africa from South America just to get the middle east from another player unite your cause with mine!
If you have ever tried to follow Craig's advice by trying to hold all of Asia for three turns in a row, come, and we will conquer RISK!

Nah, j/k. I did talk with another individual who will be competing in this reunion's risk tournament and we had an enlightening discussion in risk philosophies and strategies in risk. One thing that we decided is that this is starting to reflect real world international politics. More about goals, defenitions, and motives will be forthcoming. However a little morsel of mental meat to masticate would be most meaningful at this moment. In the 1993 official RISK rules, under world domination risk, it states the following as the objective of the game "To conquer the world by occupying every territory on the board, thus eliminating all your opponents."

-- Chris.
P.S. Of course Curtis and Cedric will not be banned because everyone else is chomping at the bit to be able to say at the opening role of the di "(Whatever country you own e.g. 'kamchatka') to (whatever country either one of them occupies i.e. 'Alaska')you're goin down son!"
P.S.S. I did not get Curtis' email "how to win at RISK and feel good about it" info-email will somone forward it to me? Or is Angie the only one who got it????????
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From Curtis:
My, Chris, what masterful morphology is manifested in your message. My muddle-headed mullings mostly make mega-migraines.
Ok, so you did “talk with another individual” and you had “an enlightening discussion”. I congratulate you, my friend, for the enlightenment you’ve accepted. Might I propose that there is another set of mores, another road… one less traveled, wherein lies true fullfilment in the game of Risk. Come join Cedric, myself and others who have realized there is no meaning to the maleficent militant mobilizations across major land masses with the motive of making oneself the monarch of a measly map.
Send an email today. Operators are standing by for a short time only to guide you beyond the inelegant struggle for independence into the illuminated idyllic state of inter-dependence. If you feel like an irrelevant isopod, I invite you to investigate the inversion of the intent of Risk and to enjoy your integration into intelligentsia !

Curtis
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From Angie:
OK, we’ve figured it 17 different ways and every way we figure it, we come to the conclusion that Curtis and Cedric have the target on their backs, so watch your backs, brethren.
(I can hear Sid the Sloth from the movie “Ice Age” responding, “are you threatening me?” ha ha!!) Naw, not like you guys are Sid-look-alikes… but your highly evolved brains do hatch a few crack-pot schemes now and then. (The kids’ newest obsession is “Ice Age”… I think I’ll keep that on perma-play during the reunion to help remind us of home-sweet-home.)
But I’m glad you two enjoyed your day in the sun last year, Curtis and Ced… Hope you sufficiently basked in the aura of triumph and wittiness because this year you are two marked men. Hopefully you like working together because it’s just you two this time…. You’ve baked your own cake, made your own bed to lie in and dug your own graves, heh heh…. Because there’s a snowball’s chance in the Mojave Desert that anyone is going to join forces with you two for more shenanigans this year. It’s you two against the world, hermanos.
But, I applaud your enticing recruitment literature, Curtis. Kudos on that point, brother.
Sorry that you two are going to have to be wiped out Numero Uno and Numero Dos, adios, sayonara, chao pescado. That will leave the rest of us to actually subject ourselves to the official object of the game which is to personally be the last man or woman standing. Yup, each of you are “goin’ down, son”. You’re toast, finito, finished, history, C-ya-wouldn’t-wanna-be-ya.
I suggest we let the game begin on Friday afternoon, after lunch, so that we can have a birthday bash for Curtis and let him know how much we love him…. before we cream him.
“At last we will make ourselves known. At last we will have revenge. “
Just a little (trash) talk before I let my dice do the talking.

Angelina the Fearsome Farnes
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From Curtis:
To Conal:
Conal,

Let me make sure I understand the question correctly. I believe the essence of your query is whether Cedric and I agree that Angelina won the Risk Championship at Capitol Reef in 2003. If that is your question, then the answer on my behalf is: Yes, absolutely. I'm confident Cedric would agree. In fact, we would take offense at anyone who would imply that Angie did not win that game. She has been the "Matronly Monarch of the Map" these many months since then. Now, in Arizona, 'may the best man win'... is not the politically correct thing to say. I believe she intends on winning again - or at least taking Cedric and I down - that much is quite plain. Now I must, in all honesty, go on to state that Cedric and I came away from the game at Capitol Reef feeling like winners. No amount of jumping up and down in protest, foaming at the mouth, and shouting "you loosers" can change that feeling. May I paraphrase Rudyard Kipling:

The shouting and the tumult dies
The Captains and the Kings depart
Still a sense of satisfaction lies
Deep within our hearts.

You see, no one can take away our satisfaction in what we were able to accomplish in the Risk game at Capitol Reef. While I am pleased, I still look forward to improving our skill in the next game. Perhaps the reason Cedric and I are so clear on this new approach to Risk is because of our common experience in Japan. The Japanese seek for artistry and skillful technique in the most unusual places. Have you ever watched a Japanese baseball game? Have you ever watched a Sumo Wrestling match? The serious
student of what I've written recently can easily deduce the essence of our philosophy - without having to talk to any of the operators so patiently standing by, awaiting your call.

For those of you with serious intent, this new way of playing Risk can be shared for a very small expense. By foregoing one lunch a week at a fast food restaurant, and taking a lunch from home instead, you will have saved up enough funds between now and the next reunion after this one to easily cover the costs of your lunches during the reunion. :) And you can still walk away from the Risk game with that CHAMPION feeling practically FREE. You too, can be a winner at Risk - everytime. Please write today and request your own private presentation of this great new philosophy in the warmth and comfort of your very own tent.

With best regards,

Curtis
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From Cedric:
Curt:
Well Ced, I mean, well said.

Ced
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From Conal:
All right everyone. I agree with Angie. Clark and Chris are on board too. This is what we need to do, just trust me, I'll explain later. Clark is on the verge of writing another e-mail to Curtis and Cedric, echoing my Sunday e-mail, asking them if they really feel like winners after CR03. When Curtis and/or Cedric respond, we need to shower them with congratulations, praise, awe, pompous, and fascination that their method worked and that they really ARE winners! There will be a contest to who can construct the most eloquent, uplifting e-mail, as judged by Garrison. This is in line with Angie's strategy, basically letting Cedric (hopefully he's there) and Curtis be THE FINAL TWO! That way they will be defeated, and there new paradigm winning premise will come tumbling down. Okay, who's with me? FREEDOM!! This will work, but the C & C Gag Me Factory can't find out about this. I have the means to find out if anyone does inform them. This will be good, the stuff of legends. Again, let them respond to Clark's e-mail, then we coordinate our cunning campaign, with the purpose of bringing integrity, truth, and justice back to the game of RISK.

Conal
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From Clark:
I couldn’t quite understand your answer Curtis. Conal asked you directly if you felt that you and Cedric “won” the last time we played Risk. You stated that Angelina “won” which is true but then you implied that you and Cedric won because you both planned for Angelina to win. Is that how you define “won”? In other words you choose someone at random help them win and you all have “won”. Please clarify your thinking on this in regards to the written rules of the game, or clarify my misguided perceptions.
Thanks,

Clark

PS Lorena, don’t be upset about the pre-game posturing. It is all part of the game. You know that Curtis is the nicest brother in the whole world, except when he is attacking you at Risk, (which he always does apologetically, by the way). When I played with the Malloy’s across the street in South Jordan, they hated my playing style that involved so much negotiation. They just wanted me to be quiet and play. Ha. I didn’t like playing with them either. Being able to make treaties and deals is one of the best parts of the game, even though eventually all treaties must be eliminated in the end.
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This exchange took place before the 2006 reunion at Cottonwood, Arizona.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Zilla: Details


Detail 3
This is part of my 'artsy' collection of photos. Today it's my favorite.
It's impossible to rub your finger along these scales from right to left, without shredding your skin.

In the image below, you really have to click on the picture to get the full story I'm trying to tell.


Detail 15
The image above is the 'beard' of the Bearded Dragon.


Detail 11
This detail is taken at the neck of the dragon.


Detail 16
These spikes look painful, but they're actually quite soft. It's the scales that are sharp when you rub them the wrong direction. She doesn't really hurt, though. Sweet 'Zilla.

Miss 'Zilla

One day, while Matt and I were collecting Fast Offerings, one of the doors we knocked on was answered by young Spencer C.
Draped over Spencer's shoulder was the most beautiful reptile I've ever seen. Her name, Spencer told me, is Godzilla. But she goes by Zilla - maybe out of respect for deity.
Zilla is a bearded dragon. She likes to eat crunchy worms, and she enjoys being stroked under the chin. Her scales are so sharp, you can only rub in one direction. Rubbing against the grain is worse than rubbing the roughest sand paper.
Several months after meeting Zilla, at Ward pancake breakfast for the 4th of July, I had a chance encounter with Spencer at the orange juice jug. Knowing my interest in Zilla, he revealed that the family would be going out of town for the holiday. I jumped at the chance to offer my services for taking care of Zilla while they were away. The next day, I received the call from Spencer. Yes! I could take Zilla for the weekend!! Here she is: